Stop Being the Office Mom (I learned this the hard way)
Breaking down the invisible patterns that keep us fixing everything (and everyone) except ourselves 🤦♀️
Have You Noticed?
The same women who get praised for being "great office moms" rarely make it to the C-suite. Not a coincidence.
Let's Break This Pattern...
At 38, I prided myself on being “Mom-in-Chief.” The always-available one. The unofficial therapist. The crisis manager. The team caretaker.
At 58, I realize that was just codependency in business casual.
The Pattern Trap 📍
Why do we fall into the office mom role?
We confuse caring with caretaking
We think availability equals value
We've been trained that nurturing = good leadership
We fear being seen as "cold" if we set boundaries
But here's the truth: Being kind doesn't mean being everyone's mom.
The Impossible Bind 🔄
Women at work face an impossible choice:
Too nurturing? You're not taken seriously (see: every woman who's been called "sweetheart" in a meeting)
Too professional? You're labeled cold (hello, Hillary)
Plot twist: The system demands we mother everyone, then punishes us for doing exactly that.
The Cultural Script 📺
Remember watching this double bind play out in public?
Murphy Brown wasn't just a TV character. She was a cultural battleground. When she became a single mom in 1992, the Vice President of the United States attacked her for "mocking the importance of fathers."
The message? Professional women better mother perfectly... or else.
That pattern hasn't gone anywhere:
Too maternal? You're not taken seriously
Not maternal enough? You're suspect (see: every article questioning Kamala Harris's lack of biological children)
Try to balance both? Get ready for criticism from all sides
These aren't just old TV storylines. They're the scripts we're still expected to follow, thirty years later.
Let’s 👏 Break 👏 That 👏 Pattern!
Power Moves 💫
Instead of: "Of course, come in anytime!"
👉 Try: "I'd be glad to schedule time to discuss this."
Instead of: "Don't worry, I'll handle it."
👉 Try: "What solutions have you considered?"
Instead of: "Let me help with that."
👉 Try: "What support do you need professionally?"
The Short of It ⚡️
You can care without caretaking
Set boundaries without being labeled cold
Stay professional without mothering everyone
Remember: The problem was never us. It was a system that wanted free emotional labor.
Your Power Practice this Week 💪🏽
Notice when you slip into "office mom" mode
Try one of the script flips above
Let me know what happens!
As always, I'm right here with you, - Kara
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